One last letter…The end is never truly the end

My time on earth is only temporary and I’m sorry I couldnt physically be here forever

My time has come and god has called me back to leave this world

but in my departure please don’t flood this earth with tears

Don’t walk in the shadows where the light can’t find you

For I promise I will always be by your side

Even when my physical body has been given back to this world

My soul will always be there to guide you and be there watching over you

So please, please don’t forget all our memories we shared, don’t forget all those good times we had together

My life on this earth was filled with happiness and you made my time here worth every second

I will miss you and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay here just a bit longer

But I’ll be waiting for you and I’ll be here to greet you at the pearly gates when your time has come

But until then, please smile…live your life to the fullest.

Enjoy every moment and don’t let my departure hide that light you bring to the world

Carry on and enjoy every second you have because time sure flies

but even when it ends, you’ll see it’s all worth it, because of all the hearts you touch along the way

So Keep your head up, I may physically be gone but I will always be with you in spirit

I love you…and even in the end, I will never truly be gone

I had my years, so please enjoy yours…I will be watching over you from above

Please Smile, please bring back that laugh and enjoy every second you have because time sure passes by fast

So don’t waste any bit of it, enjoy every second of it. I had my time, now please enjoy yours

I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here waiting for you

I promise

For the one who’s Worthy

I Gave up looking for someone worthy

I’ve enchanted my heart and buried it deep

The hurt it caused and the way it bleeds

Why would I want it or trust it

All it did was hurt me and bring me down to my knees

The thought of getting hurt scares me

Yet somehow you picked my heart up with ease

My heart is yours for the taking

If anything, it’s already yours to claim

My heart deemed you worthy

All I can hope, is yours will deem me the same

Advice I Was Given

I was told during my years growing up “be determined in all that you pursue”. This advice has stuck with me in all that I do.

I was told during my high school years “if you have a goal to become something, you must first convince your self it is possible before it’ll ever happen”. I decided then that every day I will tell myself no goal is unachievable.

I was told during my years in sports “you are only as good as your biggest flaw”. For that, I reflected upon my charecter to know that their is always room for improvement.

I was told during moments of hardship “stay strong, for you are never truly alone”. To that I realized the value of friendship and family.

This life is full of lessons, hardship, dreams, nightmares and so much more. “This life is full of surprises. So seize the moment, for this life is yours for the taking”.

So for all you reading I’m telling you, “this life can either be the dream you choose it to be or it can be the nightmare that consumes you”.

Drinking through the bad

Photo taken by Chad Diamond

Cheers to the darkness upon the horizon

I’ll embrace the moments that have got me beat

Bottoms up to the shadows that follow

For the light shall keep them all behind me

Keep downing these drinks of sorrow

I know not every day will be my best

Toast to all the heart breaks

I’ll continue to learn and never forget

Pushing Through the Storm

Photograph by Chad Diamond

I’m sure every person, atleast once in their life has felt that the storm ahead of them has got them beat. That no matter the preparation, or forewarning of the bad to come, that event would still get the best of them. 

We as individuals try so hard everyday to avoid the bad. We prepare and do everything we possibly can to avoid hardship. It’s human nature to want things to go as easy as possible. Let’s face it, no one ever says “I hope this will be the hardest thing I’ll ever endure”. 

Yet no matter how much we try, the storm of bad to come will eventually rain on our parade. It will flood our lives with sorrow, hate, anger, sadness and so much other emotions beyond the imaginable. 

Sometimes these storms pass by fast, like passing showers on a sunny day. While other days it feels never ending, like a hurricane tearing everything around you apart. 

Although these storms may hinder the skies above, don’t ever feel beat. The sun will always break through the clouds and clear the skies. At moments these storms may be catastrophic and destroy all that was in its path, don’t be consumed in the damage. Instead look forward to rebuilding what it destroyed. You were blessed with the chance to start over and build up your life even stronger.

With every bad moment in life we learn how to better prepare for the next storm ahead. With out the bad, we would never learn how to truly appreciate the good around us. Cherish the days of sunshine and happiness, and learn from the days of destruction and sadness. Our worst days define us as individuals and how we will continue to build up our charecter to better face the hardships along our path to greatness.

The Path Through Darkness

Today I decided to test my camera out, this is the first time I took pictures since I lost my sight in my right eye. I was right eye dominant, so I wasn’t to sure how my photos would come out.

After an hour or so of taking pictures around my neighborhood I decided I had enough photos to work with for my first day back in the hobby. Also mother nature decided I was done as well, she was stern to let me know she wasn’t in the mood for a photo shoot by drenching me with her wealth.

Upon editing my photos I came across one photo in particular that inspired me and got me thinking about my life.

Photo taken by Chad Diamond

The image was dark, with a feeling of terror. But with further examination I found a story with in it. It shows a nice solid path with clean cut edges, although near by the path there is rough terrain that looks best left undisturbed. All while the image radiates a dark and grim feel with its straight cut clarity and dark black and white shading. 

If there was ever a picture to describe my feelings I’ve felt this past month this would be it. Upon looking at what happen to me, I was in a dark and grim state. I felt I was on a path that was winding in all directions but was surrounded by only outcomes of horror. I evaluated my situation and just wondered if perhaps I’ve done things differently I would have had a different outcome, but just like the path in the picture it seems there was no other way but down that path.

Although this picture only seems dark and grim there is some light to it, just like my situation in life. That path may be in a dark setting, surrounded by rough terrain but the path has not come to an end. That path continues down further beyond into a realm that can’t be seen yet. Therefore showing that the journey has not come to an end, rather just a rough patch along the way. 

This image clearly portrays what I believe and feel at moments in darkness. The path presented before us may seem dark and grim, but will be paved all the way through to better times. We as individuals may drift from the paved path and explore terrains best left untouched, we may feel at moments the world upon us is dark, with the absence of light and happiness. But as long as we see that the path has not come to an end, and we are willing to make the journey through the darkness, our path will always find its way back to better days. We as individuals are all destine for greatness, as long as we are willing to make the journey.

Days for Change

Most days in life seem to be pretty straight forward. Atleast for me they were. Wake up, go to work, come home relax, have a few beers, cool down and then call it a day. 

I’ve been in this routine for the past five years or so. I’ve worked various driving jobs, in the pursuit to build my resume as a commercial driver. Since I was a little boy that has been my dream, to drive big rigs and be the king on the road. I gave up everything to pursue this goal. I worked labor jobs delivering furniture all the way to delivering food products. I would work sixteen+ hour shifts five days a week, while giving up my weekends and nights to go out just so I could get more time behind the wheel. 

Eventually this work payed off, or at least I thought It did. I got hired as a fuel driver pulling double tanker rigs. Quickly though I found out this wasn’t a step forward. I worked even longer hours and had a boss who only cared about her profits. She would force us to work unrealistic shifts and push us to do jobs with out proper percations. One day I told my self I had enough, I left that job and risked being unemployed to pursue a job worth my efforts.

Up to that point in my life, I haven’t changed much…I continued to change the scene but not the situation. I was in the process to take on another driving job, I completed all the test and interviews and just had one more step to seal the deal. But I don’t think fate liked my choice. The weekend before that last test, I was shot in the eye with a paintball. This resulted in the loss of sight in my right eye, and therefore forcing me to surrender my commercial drivers lisence.

All in that moment, all that I worked for the past five years was taken from me. Honestly I was broken, broken beyond belief. I dedicated so much to that goal, only for one mishap to snatch it from me with out warning. I gave all that I had to be that person, I was a driver. That was my goal since I was small and every decision I made up to that point was pushing me down that path. 

After a few weeks I looked at my life, and what was left of it. I felt empty, but at the same time I wasn’t mad or depressed about what happen. I was scared but not because I lost all that I’ve worked for but rather for the road ahead. I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason and this situation was no different. Although I had my heart set on being a driver, it seemed life has always had a different plan for me. Every driving job I’ve worked pushed me beyond my limits of staying sane. I worked hours that I felt like a zombie just going through the motion, faced stress that physically made me feel ill and I gave up all interaction with the world around me just so I could get the job done. Maybe losing my eye sight in one eye was the only way fate could get me to see the true grim side of the life I was living. 

This moment of hardship forced change upon me. Although the situation may seem grim and unfortunate. Perhaps it isn’t, perhaps it was the lesser of two evils. This situation sets the chance for days of change. A chance for me to make a change in my life that allows me to pursue new goals that are well balanced and push me in the pursuit of true happiness in not only my job but also my life at home.